Monday, January 02, 2006

I Had A Dream (last night)

Ok... so our flight out of Hawaii was delayed again - this time, after checking in at about 8:30PM, we were told we wouldn't be leaving until 3:00AM. Not only would we miss spending more time with new friends (hello Ian & Phe) and watching the New Years fireworks, but we would now be up all night waiting to ride on a plane for almost 9 hours back to Atlanta. I don't know about you, but I can't sleep in an airplane so when I got home last night and went to bed - i slept long and hard.

Now, I don't usually dream - period - end of story. I can count on my right hand how many times i've had a dream i remembered. But in those long hours of sleep i got last night - this one was played out in detail - in living color.

I dreamed i died.

As I was approaching the pearly gates - it occured to me that i was gonna want to see some old friends once i'm in. So when i met St. Peter i asked him a lot of questions. Trying to impress him with my knowledge of theology and all - and once i felt like we're old buddies - then i ask him if any of my old friends had made it in yet.

He looked a little worried and said "who did you have in mind"? I said " how about ol' Richie K?" St. Peter's face brightened up and he said sure - I'll take you to him. So we went down a couple of hallways, into an elevator then down another hallway where we came to a door with a window in it. He said you can look in but you can't disturb him. Inside the room was Rich, sitting in a chair and being forced to listen to one of the ugliest women I've ever seen, with the screechiest voice, read Shakespear to him. I said whats up with that? Richard was a decent guy wasn't he? And St. Peter said "yes - he's here isn't he? But he's done some awful bad things in his life as well."

Being totally bummed about Rich's temporary situation - i asked if my old golfing buddy Harlan was here too. St. Peter's eyes narrowed as he looked at me for a minute and then said "follow me" without making another sound. We must have walked for miles before we came to another door - on the same floor - but a long way off from Rich. Inside was Harlan. He was standing in the middle of the room and there with him was a woman who would have made the last girl look like a beauty queen. This girl was ugly to the bone - and mean! She was telling him stories like a stand up comedian and out of either fear or his natural politeness, he had to laugh.
I says to St. Peter - "this is all wrong - why is Harlan here?" and Peter says back - "It sure beats the other place!" "besides Harlan has done some baaaaaaad things in his life".

Now I'm beginning to get a little worried as to where I'm gonna spend my time - as I KNOW i've done some bad things. But before i ask to go to my room - i think of our friend Jackie - a pillar in the community and a great example to husbands and fathers everywhere. "Where's he" I ask St. Peter.

St. Peters eyes brighten up a little and a smile comes across his face and there is even a little skip in his step as he shows me to Jackie's room. Its a long way away from the other guys. Down three flights of stairs, across a courtyard, up four flights, down two more hallways and turn right at the corner.

There is a room - not just any room - a palatial presidential sort of room. It is plush beyond belief. Everything has jewels and gold everywhere. There are people holding platters of food, people serving all kinds of drinks, people fanning - its a party - or so it looks. I've never seen this kind of splender in all my life.

In the center of the room is a throne. On that throne is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I mean absolutely perfect in every way. She is stunning - a real breath taking beauty of incredible perfection. She is like Catherine Zete-Jones, Shania Twain, Angelina, J Lo, Faith Hill and Halle Berry all rolled into one model of absolute perfection.
... and there... at the foot of the throne... was our dear friend Jackie... touching her toes and making her giggle.

I said "now wait a minute!" "Rich was a good guy and look where you stuck him... he never cheated, he never cussed, he never did anything wrong, and Harlan was a really cool guy as well - never harmed a fly - he was allright. What did they do to deserve that and why does Jackie rate this - I don't get it!"

St. Peter looked at me, shrugged his shoulders and said: "you see that pretty girl in there? ... She did some awful baaaaaad things in her life."

and then i woke up... this head cold is killing me...